autisticalecs:
autisticalecs:
things said to my 1yo sister
“Noooooooo, you can’t go in my room when you’re naked! That’s where I go when I’m naked!”
*agonized screaming* “don’t KICK THE POOPOO”
*watching Elmo’s world* “yes, child, worship your god. Appease the beast.”
“You don’t even have the crushing knowledge of your insignificance in the universe. Because you think you’re god, don’t you? You’re not god. You’re patron saint of rice cakes, at best.”
“Roses are red, violets are blue, stop taking off your shoes before I stick my foot up your ass.”
“I’m going to sacrifice you to the gods.”
“Hello, young one, are you here on urgent business?”
“I’m going to eat you.”
*while her hand is hooked on my bottom teeth* “We Are One.”
“You’re stinky. Not physically, but like spiritually. Spiritually stinky.”
*as she smears fruit juice in her hair* “you disgust me. Sometimes it’s hard to even look at you.”
“You are the light of my life” *headbutts me right in the lip* “yes. The stars in my sky, the greenhouse gases in my ozone layer.”